Bear spray

This is for any of you kids who decide to mess around with bear spray. Take it from me, it's illigal it's dangerous and you'll hurt someone with it. I was in my back lane and I looked down and saw a can of bear spray lying there on the ground. It was all good, but missing it's nozzle thing. I didn't know if it worked so I thought I would test it out by sticking a screw driver into the top. I didn't think to turn it away from my face and It sprayed out fast and got all over my hands and my face. Let's just say I understand how that stuff can drop a bear. I tried to run into my apartment but ran into a wall cause I couldn't see. When I finally got through the door I fell on the ground and had to get my friends to drag me into the bathroom and I ran the water on my face for like ten minutes. I couldn't breath or see for like half an hour. I gotta say it's stupid for anyone to use it.

-Anonymous

Two of the many things that weigh heavily on the minds and shoulders of impoverished people. We are depressed that the system is geared toward rejection and intolerance and desperate for anything that will get us out of a situation or to find the right substance to let our mind escape the pain we feel because of it. Problems created by the system create a multitude of daily problems for those who struggle daily to stay alive and safe until the next day. Those that have a comfortable life and do not worry as much as we do have very little or no understanding of what we go through and have no right to sit in Judgement over us as some / most of them do. We do what we need to do in order to survive, set back by the limits of others that would deny us the fundamental rights that everyone deserves. These barriers of intolerance and ignorance are what we are faced with every day and are contributing factors to why we are here in the first place. There is far too much resistance to helping people and an overwhelming amount of separation and subdivision. Truly, if we all work together to help each other instead of attempting to be more than everyone else, we could all prosper and be happier. We are given the freedom to choose, and do we not choose who we are by how we treat others? When you treat someone badly for a reason without justification, do you not judge yourself? When will we realize that causing problems for others causes problems for ourselves as well? It all comes down to a simple choice: How do I want to live my life? To live in self-service or in service to humanity? Selfishness or selflessness? Unity and understanding or depression and desperation?

Adam Norris

Cops are retarded

They think just because they have a badge that they are the almighty rulers of the city. I don't just say that because most people I know say it. I say it due to my experiences in dealing with them. Like last night which was my most recent run in wiht them. I was sitting on the corner of Boradway and Osbourne (on the corner that most flaggers / squeegeers call big island) flagging when a cop car pulled up to me. The moment he put the window down he told me to 'get the fuck up and leave the corner'. He never thought ot use manners and just ask politely. I was treated as though I wasn't even a human being. I grabbed my backpack and was waiting for the light to turn so I could cross and he began to yell and threaten me about giving me a fine and beating me for being beligerant because I hadn't left yet. I told him I was waiting for the light. I left as soon as the light changed and went over to 'squeegee corner' of Broadway and Osbourne where my boyfriend was squeegeeing. I sat there with him for about maybe 15 minutes before the same cops pulled up right on the sidewalk in front of us. The driver (same cop that hassled me on the other corner) got out of the car and told my boyfriend to give up his squeegee and leave, so he did. Then the cop was standing right in front of me telling me to leave also. I told him fine but please step back out of my face so I can leave. He slapped me in the face with his glove. I thought he broke my nose at first he hit me so hard. He then backed up but stood exactly where he knew I was going to walk as my boyfriend had just gone in that direction. I told him (the cop) to get out of my way. By this time I was mad, obviously. There happened to be a couple guys taping up posters for some event that were walking by. The cop was about to hit me again when his partner said something from the car about witnesses and so he backed off and let me walk away. The cops have to be in my opinion the biggest gang there is. They push people around, treat them like shit and think that they are way better than anyone and the worst part is, NO ONE has enough balls to stand up for their rights against them or else they just don't know their rights. It's a sad thing.

Kristy

Where I'm coming from. 3 perspectives

I was in CFS for years. In and out of different homes. Trying to find my place in the world. Then when I got kicked out of my last home, I was living there for the longest which was 2 years. They kicked me out, out of nowhere. It was devastating. I then got put into a hotel and there, I started getting involved with Meth users. I hung around them for a few months, liked the way they all treated me, then I decided to try Meth. When I moved into my mom's. 2 weeks after I started, my dad passed away. That's when I gave up. I lost control for a year. Then I started shooting up ...

Patsy Friesen

I ended up on the street because I got kicked off of independent living and because I was selling drugs. I started using meth chronically and living under the Donald St Bridge. All I cared about was the next needle of meth and all I cared about was how I got my next hit.

Brandon

I chose to live on the street because the drugs were so good. Too good. I just had to be a part of the drug scene. Which kept me out weeks at a time. Eventually it turned into months. Then I just finally ended up living on the street. I love crystal meth so much I can never do it again. Because once I have that first shot I'll run away from my awesome life that took 15 months to put together. I'll run away from my daughter and responsibilities.

Terri-Lynn

What it's like to be homeless

At the University of Manitoba, four business students have been posing as homeless people sleeping out doors on campus for the week. To complete the role reversal, two RaY youth – Libby and Julie – went to visit the homeless students and interviewed them about their experiences as homeless people.

Libby & Julie: What are some of the obstacles you’ve been facing out here?

Students:
It’s cold. Our backs are getting sore. We put cardboard underneath us as cushioning while we sleep and we found cardboard to wall us off from the wind but it’s still uncomfortable. I don’t even think we appreciated the comforts we did have until now when we don’t have them anymore. Everything we have here had to be donated so we had to go scrounging for cardboard. A tarp and tape was given to us but when we were looking for dental floss to tie the tarp town a security guard gave us one of those mouth picks with about an inch of dental floss in it. We’re sleeping outside. We didn’t want to floss our teeth. We miss being able to think straight. You can’t get a solid night’s sleep out here and you can’t get rid of that chill once it sets in and without the sleep our brains just don’t work.

L & J: How have people been treating you?

Students:
People are pretty nice to us. Because we’re students. The experience out here doesn’t even begin to compare with the real thing. We are just getting the very basic experience of sleeping outside. Like you said, we have more food in this cart to eat than you have in your fridge. People are giving us a lot of donations which is great for you, but imagine if people would give out this type of stuff to genuine street people and not just to us because we are students. And we were actually surprised by the number of students here who came up to us and told us that they either had been homeless at one point or that they are homeless now. They just crash at their friends’ places or hang out around campus all the time. Apparently there are some students who have deals worked out with certain security guards where they just let them sleep in certain offices or student lounges – depending on who’s working that night. But the lives of street kids are way different. Peopl earen’t as nice, they don’t have things brought to them for food or warmth. I mean, the other day we had 16 coffees donated in 45 minutes. Of course they’re all frozen now but once they thaw we’ll just pop them in the microwave. Do you want a coffee?

L & J: What do you think are the differences between what you guys are living and the real thing?

Students:
The way people treat us for sure. And we have supportive people all around us, this will be over in a week. People know we’re not really homeless so they’re not mean to us. Some of the other schools have had people say that the students “living homeless” is insulting and a mockery to genuine homelessness. I think that’s partially the media spinning the situation out of control.

L & J: That’s stupid. If they think it’s insulting for you to pretend to be homeless, do they think it’s insulting when we pretend we’re not? Did you guys know each other before you started this?

Students:
No, but we’re getting really close. We’re entertaining each other by dancing to keep warm, running around in circles and then falling on the ice, we have so many inside jokes now. And last night I had one of those hot pockets but it was really big, it went on your back. So I put it inside my jacket before I went to bed. When I got up, he said it got too cold. I had put it on backwards and was heating him up the whole time, not myself.

L & J: What kind of a difference do you think you’re making?

Students:
I think it’s just a starting point. For us, for our families, our friends and all the other students. It’s great that we’re learning about the realities of street life and we’re hearing your stories and now we have stories we can talk about and because we’ve met you we can speak with vindiction about the issues that are out there. It’s encouraging me to help others more and I think the young people we can impact will impact others. It would be nice if we could impact more older people too because there are a lot of damaging opinions out there.

L & J: What do you miss most?

Students:
Taking a shower. That’s nice. My bed. Having nice clean clothes to wear. My comb.

L & J: What will you do first when this is all done?

Students:
I’m taking a shower, putting on clean clothes and going to bed. I’m going to skip showering, me and my bed need to be reacquainted as soon as possible.

It's a process

I was 14 the first time I got arrested. For fighting. Always been a scrapper.

I went from CFS to Independent Living (an EIA program for people under the age of 18) and welfare never gave me time to settle in to living on my own. They said to get a job or get kicked off assistance. I got kicked off and had to do it on my own. I was 18. So I sold drugs. It was the easiest thing to do. I was in a gang and knew a lot of people in the right places. It was the easy way out.

The hard times? Getting robbed – at gun point, at knife point. Being hungry – and me, I get really grumpy when I don’t have food man. I mean it. I get REALLY grumpy until I find something to eat. Sometimes you wonder if you’re gonna live through the night because it gets so cold.

My fears

I asked 3 youth what their top 5 fears on the street were. This is what they said:

T: Where am I going to sleep?
I need to get money without getting caught
PROSTITUTION
Where can I get clean rigs?

P: Drugs and drug paraphernalia
Can I find somewhere warm to stay?
HUNGER
Getting jumped or taken advantage of

B: I need somewhere SAFE to sleep
Drugs and abuse
Gangs
Finding food
Violence

Squeegee tales

The only ones I remember are the good ones. I got hired off the corner a few times. To bus at the Palomino club. The first night I got trapped in the corner by a couple lesbians. I don’t really look at the people though, it’s all about the money. I’ve seen naked women lying in the back of cars. I’ve washed the mayor’s window. Politics doesn’t mean anything. What you pass in the field and what you believe in are two different things. The same mayor passed bylaws saying I can’t squeegee your window at all.

I washed a nice Mercedes before. Gave me $20. A viper once. Those are the best. You get so many beaters and people are like “don’t touch my car! No man, don’t touch my windows!” and then you get a nice BMW and the guy's just sitting back and throws you a bill. The guy in the beater is just mad at you because he has to go to his office job that he hates. The good cars though, they can keep you from getting bitter.

It’s just sales though. You take enough knives to people’s homes, eventually somebody needs a knife. You’re selling soap on a stick. Eventually somebody bites. I’m kind of like the avon lady really.

When I met him

It was the summer
when he knocked on my door, because
it was open

He introduced himself and
Told me his name,
it was shane

To a girl, who's never been kissed,
this was bliss, I was
Already 26

He was what I wanted and
more.
He was someone I could adore,

But alas, it was never to
Have lasted

And with his brother,
That was another

The shame I have today, of
Those times where I
Lay naked in bed, with him,
I thought we would wed

But whatever, there me be another
Shane, someday.

Navy Phuong

Welfare

I'm on Welfare
Because I'm naked and bare,

I can't do this
I can't do that,

Suffice it to say,
I feel totally trapped

But welfare, takes care
of me

But you see,
Someday there may be more to me.

Navy Phuong

We are the one
Everything is Everyone
Your pain is my pain
Giving is the only way to gain
Hurting you hurts only me
Loving others will set you FREE!

Adam Norris
a.k.a Sidebag